Show – don’t tell!

Published on: Author: nicolebarnes 16 Comments
This week we are learning to show the reader and not just tell them.
Show sadness.
Writing β€œshe was sad” would tell me what she was feeling. Instead, show me what sad looks like. Is sad staying in bed and not getting dressed? Missing work? Not taking a shower and eating only potato chips?
Show anger.
Tell: He was angry. How can you show anger instead? Is anger throwing pots?Β  Or is anger not talking?
Show fear.
Tell: She was scared. Instead of writing that, how would you show fear?
Show surprise.
Choose one of the prompts above or think of your own emotion or adjective. Take fifteen minutes to write a piece that shows us that feeling, then post it in the comments.
What emotion do you think other people have tried to show?

16 Responses to Show – don’t tell! Comments (RSS) Comments (RSS)

  1. Brian slammed his bedroom door not knowing what he had just done. He then picked up one of his favourite novels and threw it at the wall. The wall made a loud bang as the book hit the wall, Brian then felt his face turn bright red and then he proceeded to make a mess in his room and make it look like a tornado had been through. Brian opened his closet and picked up one of his t-shirts and ripped it into pieces and threw it to the floor. Brian then got his lamp and threw it at his bed and luckily it didn’t break and then stormed out the room.
    From Logan πŸ™‚

  2. John Slammed the door as he ran to his bed putting his hands on his face, his face was covered in tears. His bed was a puddle after several hours of him losing himself, he finally calmed down to the right attitude until he had seen something he thought he would never in his life see…
    From Ethan ( :

    • hi Ethan
      is John feeling sad ……………and confused…………… also wet…….?

  3. Hi 4/5 B
    Lizzy turned cherry red as she stood there on the stage trying not to run out the door,she had wet cheeks and tugged her shirt and looked at the ground,her paper flew on to the floor the room went silent as she stood their biting her lip
    she stopped for a while when then she said “i forgot” and every one started laughing when she ran off.

    Do you Know how she is feeling?

  4. Dear Mrs Barnes, Mrs Zois and 4/5B,

    My paragraph is about a girl named Layla! I hope you can guess how she’s feeling!

    Layla walked in. It was as quiet as a mouse, just as it had always been. She lay down on the couch and sighed. “Why am I so lonely?” she thought to herself. She bunched up into a ball as she grabbed a bucket of ice – cream. Water was streaming from her eyes and landed in a puddle right between her legs. She had no one by her side to protect her. Her cheeks were as red as a cherry. She slowly got up to get a drink of water to calm herself. It was useless, she could never get over it.

    From
    AmeliyaπŸ˜†πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜„πŸ˜πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜›πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜…

  5. hi 4/5B
    i opened the door and there were close over there and muddy shoes on the bed. stinky under wear on the floor. then i opened the cupped in my friends room and and all the toys in his cupped fell on top of me. i struggled to get up “now there’s toys every where. then i heard my friend coming up the stairs i quickly run out of the room and closed the door and waited out side for my friend.
    from Aidan.

  6. Hi 4/5B,

    My legs were shaking as I was lining up. I felt like crying but my mum and dad said it would be fun. I didn’t believe them. As we got closer to the front my legs were shaking more and my heart was pounding. When it was finally our turn we sat down in the seat and I was next to my dad. He was holding my hand tightly. We started to take off and I said in my head β€˜I want to get off’ over and over. When the ride was nearly over I thought I would survive but then SPLASH, I was suddenly all wet. I felt tears rolling down my face. I finally got off the rollercoaster but I couldn’t stop balling my eyes out.
    From Rihannon

  7. Zane grunted because it was time for homework. He was talking back with his mum. He was screaming very loudly. Then he was saying bad words like go away to his mum. After that Zane pushed his mum. So she got hurt and became upset. Then Zane stomped upstairs, went to his room and broke his photo frame with a photo of him and his mum. Then he started shouting to himself. Finally he calmed himself down.

    From Indi πŸ™‚

  8. Hi 4/5B
    Max rushed his hands to brush his very own ugly teeth, changing his clothes like he was on fire,racing down the stairs and jumped on the car like a cannon but then he couldn’t realize his own clumsy eyes.
    What do you think he was feeling?

    From Osman😜

  9. Hello 4/5B
    Layla watched as her friend Sophie walked on stage when she sang beautifully Layla’s face turned red she was angry but also happy for her she didn’t know what to say when came back stage so she left. All different emotions ran though her head. Then next day all Layla could see and hear was that Sophie got the main roll. That night she through her pillow against the wall as hard as she could never going back to school because of that feeling of…
    I hope you can figure out the emotion.

    From:Stella

  10. Dear 4/5B
    Tom was going home with a purple eye. When he got home he went straight to his room without saying hi to anyone. But before he went to his room, his mum saw the bruised eye and followed him secretly. But when Tom closed the door, the door hit Toms mum’s eye and she ran to the bathroom to see her eye. When she saw the bruised eye, see screamed and Toms dad =RACED to the bathroom immediately and then his dad was in a panic. Tom wouldn’t get out of his room and Toms mum had an bruised eye.

    Did you guess the feeling of Tom? If you did then awesome job!!πŸ‘

    From Theo

  11. Joe was Red like a tomato slamming the doors around the house. His mum yelling at him non-stop for an hour. Not knowing what to do, He then locks the door and overthinks of what he did. Then he realises, He goes to the kitchen to get water to calm himself down, but it didn’t work.
    From Declan.

  12. Hi 4/5B
    When Tom open his bedroom door. Stinky socks are everywhere in his bedroom. Shoes are all on the bed. Snack are on table. Homework are all on the floor. clothes are in the corner.

    from Luca πŸ€£πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜πŸ€£^0^ ^o^πŸ˜ƒ^o^

  13. ” Please don’t leave me!” i cried while i was holding onto my mum’s leg.
    “i’ll only be around 15 minutes, trust me” my mum exclaimed.
    Then suddenly the door slammed.
    my head was in my hands, tears rolling down my cheeks.
    Then out of know where the lights flicked and turned off.
    my cheeks now blazing and a puddle of my tears.
    then out of the bliss the door opened and my mum was back!

  14. She was walking along the sand eating an ice cream. She could see everything from this view. The ocean crashed against the shore and seagulls were flying everywhere.

    Where is she?

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